


Grey Days

by kickassfu



Series: the boys and their mental illnesses - modern au [4]
Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Allusions to mental illness, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, M/M, POV Jaskier | Dandelion, Short, introspective mostly, part of a series, so a lil angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:48:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24564109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kickassfu/pseuds/kickassfu
Summary: Who needs to get up and face the day? Pfft. No, thank you. He’s quite happy in his (their) bed. Jaskier is more than happy to wallow in his misery; he has gone as far as making an official decision that he’ll never get up again, and that he shall die in this bed.  No one will ever make him change his mind. His will is iron and steel and-“Breakfast’s ready.” he hears Geralt’s voice from the kitchen, kind, sure, patient - like he’d wait for him for centuries if need be. Bloody hell, Jaskier loves him an ungodly amount. It’s not fair.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: the boys and their mental illnesses - modern au [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1695214
Comments: 28
Kudos: 187





	Grey Days

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FlicksFics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlicksFics/gifts).



> I got a friend asking for more of them in this Modern AU/series, so I just went for it. Didn't have an actual prompt though. So it's just Jaskier coming off of a funk I guess. Hope you enjoy ^^

There are good days and bad days, everyone knows this, everyone goes through them over and over again, like a never ending shit cycle - but no one really talks about the _meh_ days. The days nothing particularly bad happens, but you also don’t crack a smile throughout it. Jaskier thinks if those days had a color, it’d be the color grey, boring and bland with no passion or life. Not black, not white, in between. Jaskier hates those days the most. Even on bad days he at least _feels_ something. 

Feeling something is good, fucking _great_ actually. There’s nothing worse than being void of emotion, feeling empty, here but not really here.

So, yes, Jaskier would rather get punched in the face (maybe not the face, because it’s a moneymaker, but the point still stands!) than to just be pushed through life aimlessly. 

He knows - _logically_ \- that there aren’t bad days or good days or whatever; there are days where bad shit happens or good things or nothing much at all, and if something bad does happen you cling to it and let it ruin the whole day. Even better, he knows that his brain is a traitorous little fuck that is bent on ruining his life, and that sometimes, no matter how much he forces a smile it just won’t work.

_Those_ days, where he feels detached from everything, even beautiful, wonderful, Geralt, usually bring other days of guilt and self-hatred, from ignoring said beautiful, wonderful, Geralt. And now that he’s drowning in all those thoughts, he realizes that the days after the _meh_ days might be worse. _Lovely._ At least he’s feeling something though, so there’s that.

He’s lucky enough that Geralt _understands_ , that he has his own nightmarish days, and seeing as Jaskier never minds it he’s quite sure, _well_ , kind of sure that Geralt _probably_ doesn’t mind Jaskier pushing him away…. _much_. What he’s actually sure of, is that he doesn’t want to get up at all. 

Who needs to get up and face the day? Pfft. No, thank you. He’s quite happy in his ( _their_ ) bed. Jaskier is more than happy to wallow in his misery; he has gone as far as making an official decision that he’ll never get up again, and that he shall die in this bed. No one will ever make him change his mind. His will is iron and steel and-

“Breakfast’s ready.” he hears Geralt’s voice from the kitchen, kind, sure, _patient_ \- like he’d wait for him for centuries if need be. Bloody hell, Jaskier loves him an ungodly amount. _It’s not fair._

Bollocks.

_Oh well._

Kicking the covers off of him, he crawls out of the bed, not even pretending he’s happy about that fact. But also _yearning_ for Geralt, missing him so much his heart beats out of sync with it. Not that Geralt was away from him, no, he’s always been right there, Jaskier just wasn’t actually there with him though. The disconnect ever present, fogging his feelings and intent. All that he wants to do is run into Geralt’s arms and stay there, like moss on a tree, so clingy he’d have to be scraped off. He doesn’t really have the energy for that, so he just hugs Geralt from behind instead, tucking his chin on Geralt’s left shoulder, kissing his neck softly.

He feels Geralt still for a second, and release the tension he’s probably been burdened with these last couple of days. Sighing, Geralt leans his head on Jaskier’s a little more, finishing up squeezing the orange in his hand - which is _very_ hot. Just seeing Geralt’s strength in such a small, domestic way, his muscles barely rippling with the pressure but-

_Anyway_ -

Fresh orange juice is absolutely his favorite, and this gesture just fills Jaskier’s heart with tender love and a warmness that threatens to burst it right out of his chest.

He feels Geralt’s hands on his, pulling them apart- _oh, but he didn’t want to let go just yet_. Sad, bereft, completely heartbroken (yes, he’s a drama queen, leave it be), Jaskier tries to take a step back, but Geralt pulls him right in for a proper hug. Engulfing Jaskier completely in a bear hug; and it does hurt a little bit, and he might have a hard time breathing, and he loves it. Never wants to part from it, _him_ , Geralt. 

Tears fall, because that’s what they do the bothersome buggers do, not that he knows why they’re falling. If he finally feels home again, if it’s the amount of emotion rushing back into his body, or the feel of Geralt’s arms around him, or the _love_ , or if he’s somehow sad- he has no idea, and it doesn’t matter. He lets them fall unbidden. No shame, no trying to rein them in, he lets them be. Hugs Geralt even tighter instead, feels him kiss his forehead in turn.

A minute passes, or an hour, Jaskier has no idea actually, but his stomach makes the scariest noise he’s ever heard and that startles him so much he almost falls on his arse - well, he would have if Geralt wasn’t still hugging him. Geralt’s body starts convulsing against him, and for a second he’s worried, but then he hears him try to hide his laughter and Jaskier rolls his eyes.

“Ha ha, it’s not that funny. Stop it.”

“Of course not, love. Nothing funny about the beast in your belly. Hope it won’t murder me in my sleep.” Geralt says very, very seriously - and he could have been an actor in another life for sure, but Jaskier is not entertained in the least. Which Geralt knows, and kisses it all better before Jaskier can respond. One kiss, two, three, short and quick, and he’s so easy to calm. It’s ridiculous.

They don’t talk about the days before, been there done that, and if Jaskier needs to, he’ll do it eventually; this time right now though, it’s for reconciliation, to reconnect, and most importantly, to eat. Because he’s fucking starving.

“This is bloody delicious, I love you so much. I hope you realize I’m never letting you go!” Jaskier says, pointing a fork at Geralt.

Geralt rolls his eyes, but there’s a small smile that betrays his pretend annoyance. They both know Jaskier means it, they both know Geralt feels the same, and they also know that a relationship takes work, that not everything will go smoothly all the time but they love each other - as long as they love each other and still want to be together, they will be.

“Right, love you too. Just eat your food.”

**Author's Note:**

> i'm also kickassfu on tumblr~~


End file.
